This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Rediscovering MYSELF Beyond The Curtains
  • In Search For My Own PALACE

I always was fascinated, actually obsessed, with the architecture of the external and internal worlds and how they manage to coexist as 2 separate entities, but in the same time, very linked to each other; and why they are the way they are and why their impact on me has objective and subjective context-effects whether I dictate them, I think that dictate them or…, well, I’m already confused……. 🙂

But seriously though, I can’t possibly express how enchanted I am with the complexity of my surroundings — sometimes it stimulates my brain to an extent that I get lost in a labyrinth of my own mind, and the most exciting and perhaps bizarre part — I don’t find myself willing to find the exit out of it.

And I remember only not long ago, being outrageously frustrated why everything has to be so complicated. I was getting increasingly more indignant at the fact that the more knowledge and experience I was accumulating, the more I was realizing that everything around me is even more complex than I thought and on top of that, with every piece of knowledge and experience acquired — this complexity was growing exponentially.

But then, as I was growing and constantly chiseling my perception, I succeeded in taking a step back and finally telling to myself: “Are you nuts? Why would you be distressed by this fact? Why in the world would you even want to know everything in an instance, and even ever? Wouldn’t this expose you to the risk of being hit by boredom that eventually would culminate with complete apathy? Wouldn’t this mean ultimately: say goodbye to happiness and welcome to the eternal predictability?”

Perhaps it would! The moment I comprehended that boredom is probably my only enemy that has the true capacity to stifle my happiness, I was relieved and had the revelation of how happy and “lucky” motherfucker I was. So ever since then, I stopped bitching and complaining about anything; and with everything I was interacting with from that moment forward — I made sure I convince myself every single time how beautiful these interactions are whereas their level of complexity is beyond even my wildest imagination.

I didn’t have the necessity anymore to know absolutely all and everything. In fact, I started more and more being delighted by the idea of not knowing so much, and the key here was to perceive of not knowing that much; because in order to perceive how much you don’t know, you need first to know a lot. As the Socrates said: “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” Indeed, magnificent words that at that point resonated so much with where I was — one should first know as much as possible in order to have a shot at becoming competent enough to acknowledge of how much he/she actually doesn’t know at that moment in time no matter what.

Ever since I got to this next level realm of consciousness, I started being apt to put in front of myself much more uplifting missions and aspirations that began awakening and broadening my spirituality, adding, as a result, new dimensions to my being. One of those was to venture myself in the search of my own Palace, not in the finding it, but in the search of it; at least for the beginning. But obviously, soon enough I understood that the beginning was just an illusion since I was never going to find it; but even if I was, how was I supposed to really know that I actually found it — since all it was a product of my imagination to begin with.

So this is one of those instances that I was mentioning earlier where I was getting lost in one of the infinity of the labyrinths existing in my mind, but inasmuch as I already went through a strong spiritual revelation making me able to appreciate the importance of not knowing everything, by no means I wanted to abandon that labyrinth since it occurred to me that if that happens and I get to my Palace — after a short while, if not instantly, I will desperately want to return back to the condition where I was in that labyrinth not knowing where the exit was; but that would not be possible anymore, because the Universe would not agree to play that kind of game, and I understand why.

But don’t get me wrong, this by no means refers to the fact that when you’re in that labyrinth, you should disincentivize yourself from trying your best to find the exit; because trust me, the moment you do so — you will step immediately on the realm of ignorance, driving yourself again in the delusion of thinking that you know too much, not needing thus other new knowledge and experience coming in; and in a blink of an eye, next thing you know, you are now on an isolated 3 dimensional island disconnected from the infinite source of the Cosmos.

However, just because I knew that the Palace wasn’t real, it didn’t make me to accept it as a definite reality since I definitely knew that I had access to it in my dream which I could have never figured out that was actually a dream, or a dream inside of a dream, if I would have decided so; thus, I kept searching it up to this day.

Now of course you might say that my words and sentences don’t form an adequate cognitive ecosystem and they don’t make sense whatsoever, and I will give you only 1 answer to that and you deduct from that your own conclusion based on your own perception and position in space-time: “in the same manner as the Theory Of Relativity coexists together with the Quantum Mechanics, yet possessing fundamentally different characteristics and being governed by completely dissimilar laws — the same principle applies to my external and internal worlds symbiosis.” 

Therefore, I can tell you for sure that my Palace exists, even if I never interacted with it; since just the thought alone of realizing that I’m searching for it is sufficient to prove that the interaction would be irrelevant anyway — that’s how I know that my Palace is real and thus the exciting journey continues ahead!!!……..

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